and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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