butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
