I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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