ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
We need a shit load of segways right now
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
