No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
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