do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
nutella sex= disaster
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
