what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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