You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
