First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
well you can't waste a boner
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
