I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
