i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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