Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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