is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
