you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
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