Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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