I want to have your abortion
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
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