State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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