mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
