Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
