i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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