When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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