"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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