sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
