I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Drake has all the answers
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
