When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
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