you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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