I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
