please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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