I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
