All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
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