I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize