Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
barbara walters just said penis...
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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