So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Please don't give away my fajitas
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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