She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
