I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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