Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
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