I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
