Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
