I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
