This dress was meant to end up on your floor
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
