The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
