dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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