so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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