Whoa Z and x make the same sound
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
