Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
