i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
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I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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