Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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