We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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