i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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