Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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