wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
