I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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