I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Randomize