Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
