I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
