I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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