I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
