i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Randomize
