i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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