I'm really into asian looking animals
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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