Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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