he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
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Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
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He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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